A newly discovered masterpiece by Leonardo Dai Winci has sold for a world-record £13.60, finally settling one of the Amman Valley’s most hotly disputed historical arguments.
The painting, entitled Cleif y cleddyf — Clive the Sword — depicts the legendary Welsh knight confronting the Goat of Garnant, an enormous beast said to have destroyed Glanaman by blowing fire from its arse after eating a questionable vindaloo.
It was discovered in a Garnant attic, inside a Kwik Save carrier bag underneath some Christmas decorations and a remote control nobody recognised.
“I thought it was an old Christmas card,” said the finder. “Then I noticed the goat’s arse and thought, no, that’s probably historical.”
Local experts have declared the discovery conclusive proof that the creature existed, pointing out that somebody had clearly gone to considerable trouble to paint it.
“You wouldn’t put that much effort into something you’d made up,” explained local historian and occasional guttering specialist, Dr Gethin Parchment. “Look at the legs. All four done properly.”
According to legend, the Goat of Garnant ordered a vindaloo despite being repeatedly advised that a korma would be more sensible.
What followed reportedly levelled much of Glanaman, scorched three surrounding hillsides and left washing on a line in Brynamman smelling faintly of cumin until the following March.
“The geographical distinction is important,” said Dr Parchment. “He was the Goat of Garnant. Glanaman just happened to be downwind.”
The painting shows Cleif defending himself with a shield, having apparently realised rather late in proceedings that he was approaching the animal from the wrong end.
His expression has been described by art historians as “a powerful study of human vulnerability” and by one local resident as “the exact face my husband makes when he’s trusted a fart”.
The gold background, previously assumed to represent divine light, is now believed to be Glanaman.
Little is known about the artist, Leonardo Dai Winci, although scholars believe he worked mainly in oils, illuminated manuscripts and cash.
His other suspected works include The Last Supper Before The Rugby and an early study for the Mona Lisa in which she is visibly annoyed about the cost of Corned Beef.
The painting’s £13.60 sale followed a tense bidding war involving two collectors and a man who thought he was buying the frame.
The successful bidder described the acquisition as “an investment in Welsh cultural heritage”, adding that he would have gone to £14 if necessary.
Plans are now being discussed for a commemorative plaque in Glanaman. Residents have requested that it be heat-resistant.
Asked whether further scientific testing was needed to establish the goat’s existence, Dr Parchment was dismissive.
“We’ve got a painting of it and a man holding a shield. What more do people want? A Tripadvisor review of the curry?”
