Trading Standards officers have raided a long-established car wash in Abercraf following an anonymous tip-off about staff who were suspected of operating without the appropriate paperwork.
The business, which has been washing cars in the Swansea Valley for more than 25 years, was found to be run by a highly efficient team of penguins.
Concerns were first raised by a local resident who said there had always been something unusual about the operation.
“Something didn’t look quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on it,” said Mr Dai Dob, 57, of Heol Tawe, who wished to remain anonymous.
“I’ve nothing against people from outside the area, although I do have some concerns about people from Caerbont. That’s a separate matter, and I’ve already written to the council about it.
“But this lot were different. Always dressed smartly, never complained about the rain, and every single one of them walked like they’d just come out of the rugby club after a six-hour session.”
Mr Dob, whose request for anonymity also extends to his bungalow with the ornamental windmill outside, said his suspicions intensified when he noticed staff being paid in mackerel.
“I thought perhaps it was some sort of apprenticeship scheme.”
Records show the car wash opened in October 1998, just one month after the closure of nearby Penscynor Wildlife Park — a timing investigators have described as “coincidental, although increasingly difficult to ignore”.
Officers arriving at the premises found twelve penguins working in a carefully coordinated system, with four washing, four rinsing, three polishing and a larger emperor penguin supervising from beside the card machine.
“The standard of work was exceptional,” said one officer. “By the time we’d introduced ourselves, they’d washed both our vans and put a little pine tree in the council Fiesta.”
Attempts to interview the manager proved difficult. He repeatedly slapped the desk with his flippers before sliding across the forecourt on his stomach.
“We’ve dealt with less cooperative business owners,” the officer added.
Regular customers have defended the car wash, praising its prices, attention to detail and consistently excellent service.
“They get right under the wheel arches,” said one. “I always wondered how they managed it without kneeling down.”
Another customer admitted he had noticed the staff were penguins several years ago but had seen no reason to make a fuss.
“It’s eight quid for a wash and wax. What do you want me to do, ask for their family tree?”
The Home Office subsequently confirmed that all the penguins were Welsh, having hatched locally.
“These are Welsh penguins,” a spokesperson said. “Several have never been further than Ystradgynlais. One went to Swansea in 2006 and didn’t enjoy it.”
Mr Dob said the announcement had put his mind at rest, although he remained concerned that one member of staff appeared to recognise a customer from Caerbont.
The business has been allowed to reopen while Trading Standards investigates the one allegation it believes may have substance.
The sign outside says “Hand Car Wash”.
None of the staff has any hands.
